little note.

how can you say things such as, "i love you, i dont know who i am without you." and other things like that. and yet, in a few years, you have decided im not right for you. how could you know that, if the time hasnt come yet? how are you going to be able to just drop someone, that you "fell head over heels" in love with? just like that. it doesnt make any sense. its basically breaking my heart in advance, with a side of crushing my dreams, after you helped me create them. you lied to me. you told me you wouldnt go anywhere, and that you wouldnt hurt me again. well, i guess like you said, people change. and ill learn to grow without you. hopefully into a better person. i hope you enjoy watching what you miss.

(6-24-12)

i sit and bathe in memories,
of who we used to be.
our love and happiness,
you were the one for me.

you are confused,
unsure of what to do.
who you love, what you want,
is this even still true?

i am also confused,
of who i want to be.
what i like, who i am.
i wish i could just be me.

i have noticed you have changed,
but then again, so have i.
and in your arms i think and fear,
that our love has gone dry.

you've said before, "people change."
its the thought i fear the most,
and in this little guessing game,
i seem to be the host.

we've gone through so much,
even through breakups too.
but the thing i fear most often,
again is losing you.

baby, please, i love you

baby, please, i love you,
please, just say you love me too.
its just that im so unsure,
of what im supposed to do.

i cant live without you,
or at least i hope i never do.
how am i supposed to move on,
knowing im hurting you?

i just want you to say you love me,
for us to stay and be.
im not even sure who i am,
without you next to me.

i really really miss you,
and i love you too.
i want to love you, and you only
i just want to be held by you.

could you say, "i love you?"
say, "i want it too??"
please oh please just answer me.
baby PLEASE, i love you.

I sit in fear of the future,
And wonder whats in store,
My head is filled with negitive thoughts,
And the rain has begun to pour.

Each moment i sit in fear
Thinking of being alone,
Walking into empty rooms,
Where nobody is home.

Nobody to help,
Nobody to look to,
Nobody to love,
Nobody...even you.

Long ago i started dreaming,
Of u and me togeather,
Going on in our life,
We would be forever.

Its hard to think im wrong,
Its something that ive hid,
This FOREVER thing was stupid to think,
I wish i never did.

hiku's. (not all nature) cuz im bored as HELL. kinda silly too XD

     angry hiku
I hate you so much
you look like a vampire
please go away now.

     sad hiku
why u make me cry
these tears fall from my face
they come from my eyes

    happy hiku
YAY!! I am happy
i can feel the sun is bright!!!
I am so joyful!!! :D

     emo hiku
i just want to die
please kill me now forever
let me see some blood

    cheerleader hiku
yay!! we are winning!!
now we are losing badly
but im still happy!!

   ADD hiku
i am writing this
about my ADD problem
hey look a bunny

  Spongebob hiku
my name is Spongebob
i live in a pineapple
and i am yellow

   KFC hiku
Extra Crispy Please
Mashed Potatos and gravy
I love KFC

   a painters hiku
i have a picture
its in my head and goregous
FUCK!! i messed it up.

A hiku About Jacob
Amazing poet
eyes like a supernova
a hardworking man <3

a hiku about today
it was raining hard
there were floods all around us
zoo animals died

a hiku for bed
a bed is for sleep
but can also be for fun
right now, im sleepy

a hiku about sex
i hear sex is fine
doggy style and sixty-nine
any one will do

a hiku about the color purple
purple you are cool
on grapes and flowers and stuff,
i cheer for purple

Please come back,
U make me plead,
But you stabbed my heart,
U made me blead.

You loved me and left,
And now you're gone,
Still i wonder,
What i did wrong,

I loved u so,
And you left with no say,
You broke my heart,
U wrecked my day,

What happened here?
We were just fine!
U took ur heart back,
But u still have mine.

I try to make it stop,
But my love just wont die,
Even though u dont love me,
No matter how hard i try.

Gental Jealousy

There once was this girl,
by the name of Kim,
who just would not,
stop loving him.

Well, you see, he had one other,
who he loved so very much,
he loved her smile, her heart,
and her gental touch.

And he thought that he musn't,
Break Kims fragile heart,
but while he was nice, bit by bit,
he tore his lover's appart.

But yet the gental girl,
Didn't want him to quit,
because Kim may be hurt,
And that would be it.

Kim could be gone,
forever you see,
Gone into the sky,
away from u and me.

The gental girl stayed saddened and strong,
unsure if she could take the two appart,
I think she will stay stuck,
but at least she knows, that she's still got his heart.

I want to help, but you seem like you dont want it, maybe you dont think ill understand, maybe i will, maybe i wont. but its worth a shot. all i can do is try, and you may be lost, but as you should know, theres aways a way out of the dark woods, even if it means using the tools around you, let me be your compass, and let me help you find your way out and be happy again. because thats all i want.

Look into my eyes, i still cry.

"i love you"
Is what u always said,
But yet your the reason
I still cry before bed.

Remembering the pain
The violence,
The screaming, yelling,
I cant get it to silence.

The things ive hid,
Behind this smiling face,
Did u ever think,
"put myself in her place."

Did u ever care?
You said you had,
Your actions say different,
They still make me sad.

Did you ever look into my eyes?
So scared, afraid, and alone?
You always wondered why i was gone,
And i knew u were home.

One day you'll get it,
And you'll finally learn,
Hopefully before its too late,
Before you end up making it my turn.

Thoughts of the broken hearted

U dont get it,
When i say those 3 words,
It means ill never stop,

Even if i see it,
Increase faster and faster,
And fall from the top.

Its the most hardest,
and most frustrating thing,
Ive ever felt before.

To love,
And been loved,
And to have to love no more.

It wont go away,
So simple and fast,
Like a finger snap.

I still need a way,
To get away and leave,
From this cold and lonely trap.

"itll go away,"
"it just takes time,"
Is what they all have said.

But how long must i wait,
In coldness and sadness,
Before u leave my head.

And its been this way,
Lonelyness and sadness,
Ever since we parted.

And u left me wondering,
And thinking,
Thoughts of the broken hearted.

blogging.......not my thing.

ok...well, honestly, i once had a blog called "Toodys life" back in like 2009....well, i soon learned that blogging was BORING. (to me at least) i only made one for my friend lisa who lives 500 ish miles away and wanted to see and know what was going on in my life. then, i discovered this WONDERFUL website called facebook!! and now have really no need for one. i figured i might as well delete "toodys life" since i never posted. also, the "friends" i had that called me toody, no longer exist as friends. But, i also wanted to still comment and view other peoples blogs. (especially this one: http://reclaiminginfinity.blogspot.com/ ) <3 so, i made this.....mari....thing.....lol 
Have fun!! :D